Because talking is one of the most dangerous things we do

Have you ever witnessed people who love each other completely miss one another in conversation?

I once facilitated a series of Safe Conversations® with a family experiencing exactly that. I’m trained in this methodology, developed by renowned psychologists Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, who famously say that “talking is one of the most dangerous things we humans do.”

This family kept expressing needs and making bids for connection—but no one was truly hearing each other.

The result?

• Confusion
  

• Hurt feelings
  

• A heaping pile of misunderstandings
  

Safe Conversations® is a simple yet profound method for creating connection. It slows the dialogue down and provides a structure to truly listen, reflect back, and be heard—without judgment or interruption.

As we worked together, something shifted.

They began to see the pattern:
They weren’t fighting because they didn’t care.
They were hurting because they did care—and just kept missing each other.

By the end of our sessions, they had co-created a new system of communication that felt both loving and doable. Their idea?

📝 A shared family journal on the kitchen counter, where they could write notes of appreciation for each other and simple, clear expressions of needs to help with the everyday operations of their household.

This became their daily practice. It wasn’t fancy or time consuming. And, it was theirs. Because the solution was designed by them, it stuck.

This is what I love most about Safe Conversations®—and the kind of relational facilitation I do in general. It’s not about telling people what to do.

It’s about creating space for them to see and hear each other differently, and to design solutions that fit their own lives. Because when do this, everything changes.

Curious about bringing relational facilitation into your team, community, or family system? I can help guide groups (of 2 or more people) through structured conversations that transform misunderstandings into meaningful connection.

📩 Reply to this email to learn more—or forward it to someone who could use a little more connection in their world.

Warmly,

Rachel
The Connection Lab 🧠♥️