Why change feels so hard (and what to do instead)

🌀 Change doesn’t always follow a plan.

I once coached a Board of Directors who were right in the middle of a major strategic pivot. They had experienced several months of revenue decline and the sudden departure of two key staff members. The energy in the room was tense—part grief, part urgency, and a deep desire to do something different.

So… we slowed down.

Instead of racing to fix, we paused to reflect.
We mapped their values.
We listened for patterns and tensions.
We asked not just what’s broken—but what might be quietly trying to emerge?

And what came into focus wasn’t just a new plan.
It was a radically different business model—simpler, more aligned with who they truly were, and far more sustainable.

This is what I’ve learned:

Change is hard because we’re not just moving from A to B.
We’re letting go of identities, power structures, routines, and assumptions that have made us feel safe—even if they’re no longer serving us.

Traditional change management often asks:

“How do we move from here to there with minimal disruption?”

But in complex, living systems like today’s organizations, that question isn’t enough.

That’s where Emergent Strategy comes in.
Instead of trying to control every step, Emergent Strategy invites us to ask:
✨ What is trying to be born—and how might we align with it intentionally?

In Systems Thinking, we call this “probe, sense, respond”. Try something (disrupt gently), notice the patterns, lean into what works, and adjust what doesn’t. This way of working matters most when people are involved, because we can’t assume our plan will be the right plan for everyone.

Real change doesn’t move through plans alone; it moves through people—with all our identities, histories, relationships, beliefs, attitudes and diverse realities.

When we bring tools like adaptability, distributed leadership, and iterative learning into our change processes, we build something deeper than just a shift in structure:
We build the capacity for trust, responsiveness, and shared ownership.

A small way to put this into practice:
🍂 As the season changes (from summer to fall here in the western hemisphere), you might reflect on how to align to that change instead of trying to “over plan” for it or resist it. Nature reminds us transition is natural—leaves don’t fight their letting go.

Are you holding onto your tees & shorts or welcoming sweater weather? Are you fighting against the shortening days or taking more time to rest when the sun goes down? Gripping tightly to what was, or easing into what’s next?

Slow down, notice the shifts, and embrace what is emerging.

Ch-ch-ch-changin’,

Rachel
The Connection Lab 🧠♥️